New Business

I and my cousin have started a new business. We kidnap cute kittens off the streets and sell them on the internet. It is fantastic. The first kitten we sold was for twenty six thousand rupees where our cost was just thirty rupees if we considered the auto fare. An equally cute woman in her thirties bought it. It is crazy, but we broke even within an hour of starting the business.

We went to meet Babuji Smartass. He said we can not use the word ‘kidnap’. We are sourcing these, giving the cats shelter, we were told to speak. It would give a nice socially benevolent touch to the business he said. He also asked us to check if the cats have any rights we should know about. My cousin does not like cat rights and I do not like cats. They do not like the fact that they are smaller. Had they been as big as dogs, they’d have surely hatched a plan to get some of theirs to democratically live in Rashtrapati Bhawan.

Babuji Smartass also wanted a cat, for free. He said we should write a business plan so that we could set up a cat breading facility. We don’t have to kidnap each and every kitten, he said. Sure man, my cousin let him know.

The business is good. While working too much with cats, I think we too have become a bit cuter. My cousin says the cats talk to him. I understand. He has been spending much time with the clients. There are so many ladies who have found a Superman in him for rescuing free cats. I am astonished how the cats never tell him otherwise.

After much heated discussion over what could be a good advertisement for us, I put the posters of Cats’ Jurassic Park everywhere. Some people find a jurassic pussy very funny. When the kingdom comes, they’ll be the first to die. Chill man, my cousin lets me know, that this kitten meat is amazing. Apparently Babuji Smartass cooked it. Try some man, he tells me again. I'm planning to go off the grid for kingdom come.

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