Tuesday, February 23, 2016

In The Park

There is a park in my neighbourhood, opens at 5 AM and shuts down at 8 PM. Being an injured man these days, I have nothing better to do than take never-ending walks in the park. Big trees, trimmed grass, flowery plants, fountains, benches, and a bit of unavoidable voyeurism – that’s the order of the day, on a good day.  And there is no bad day in the park.

There is an old woman, comes at sharp 7 AM. I hear that her name is Hope. She looks like she could die any minute, but never does. She does her laughing alone. I think she could use a trainer. ‘How does the air taste?’ I jokingly asked her once as she laughed gaspingly beside me. And staring back at my newly refurbished soul, she murmured, ‘Bitter’. Since then I avoid talking to her.

But everybody loves a bit of Hope in the park. Especially the couples and the police guard.

While the elders jog, some children sing Twinkle-Twinkle as they play games. There is a separate arena for them, and other performers and practitioners alike. Games have changed. Some joggers are reluctant, especially the one that I call Dudeji. He is from Patna and has grown up in Bangalore. He has got many friends, two cars, and a girlfriend of ten years that his life revolves around. 

They are going to get married next year. That’s eleven years before marriage. He tells me that they had met in the same park. She also used to jog then. I immediately imagined a fitter version of her. But my imagination is very wild, so I stopped. Eleven years is a long time to process, I wasn’t even the same man eleven months ago.

Sometimes Dudeji likes to share a spliff in the park. I am reluctant but fundamentalist. The police guard knows me, let’s not get into how. Me and police go back long before you learnt to read or I learnt to write. He is a cool guy, wears civilian clothes and does not bother those people who do not bother others. I’m one of those people, but not Dudeji. 

Dudeji is what Hope calls an exhibitionist. He plays Michael Jackson in the car parked outside the park so that he could hear it while sitting inside near the fence. Beat it. Hope is inside the park on most days. I have not seen her much outside the park. I wonder if she has a family, people who care for her even if the old pouty woman wouldn’t give a pigeon a grain.

It seems to me that Hope wakes up every morning completely lost. And then she finds the park, every single day. And in the park she finds a new favourite spot for herself every day. And thereafter this mad woman finds all these people to gesture, smile, and stare down at. And then she laughs till her heart rate does not pull her blood circulation out of danger for that day, every single day, till Dudeji takes her home, till there isn’t a bad day in the park.
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Monday, February 15, 2016

Knocking on Heaven's Door

After having spent a lifetime wading through the monstrosity of human struggle for nothing, Anwar stood at the gates of heaven. Finally, the final home was here. But where that man was, Rizwan, the gatekeeper, or was it Chitragupta? Anwar couldn’t care less. The gates shall open soon and there shall be his interminable supply of wine and virgins. Knock. Knock. Knock. 

Will he have a new name? Having a right name, and the surname most importantly, was good. Because having the wrong one was horrible, Anwar had known, little love & too much politics. He stretched his neck. The stiletto that was stabbed in his neck was still there. There was no pain, no blood, but just the bloody stiletto which had travelled to the gates of heaven with the naked man. He wondered if that too will be answerable for his death. Knock. Knock. Knock.

He still had memories. Not so fond ones. There was no spotless mind, alas, but why. There was peace but no chaos to look for it in the first place. No death. No birth. And hopefully, no rebirth either. No sunshine. No moonlit trails by the river. No morning azan. No chai. Knock. Knock. Knock.

Rizwan! Anwar shouted. Chitraguptaji!

Once upon a time while replying to another of the stupid fucking journalists, Bruce Lee had said – If I am pointing at the moon, do not look at my fucking finger. But why was Anwar thinking of that now? He looked at his fucking finger. There was no moon, of course. Shit. Knock. Knock. Knock.

May be Bruce Lee will be there. He looked around but there was nothing apart from that gate. But this was certainly not that nothing which that Baba was talking about while sucking up Anwar’s consciousness through his chillum over a boat in the middle of Ganges in Shiva’s own city. Shiva was smart. Stoner city for the devotees, and himself in the hills… Cool, very cool… Like daddy cool, made Anwar crazy like a fool. Knock. Knock. Knock. 

And suddenly he could see more gates. And more people. Where were they coming from and where did they want to go? Their halo of social validation was shining bright. There were no animals at the gates of heaven, all of them stayed back with Shiva in the hills. Nobody was looking for God at the gates of heaven. Privileged motherfuckers! Anwar suddenly started to look for God. 

Knock. Knock. Knock.

If you are knocking at my door, do not point your fucking fist at me. Bruce Lee shouted. Anwar had tried to do things right. Treat people right. Do good, as his mama had told him, and people will do well to you too. That was not true. She must be in hell. Could he go there instead?

Rizwan! Anwar shouted. Chitraguptaji!   

Where was Rizwan? Where was Chitragupta? Knock. Knock. Knock. Where was death? Here. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. What would he ask of them? Hopefully, rebirth.

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